Wednesday, October 26, 2011

T-minus 6 days

...til Nano.

Bring. The. Rain.

That sounds uncharacteristically cocky of me, doesn't it? But, I've got this (mostly... I think).

So it's been a while since I blogged. But then again, it's always been awhile since I blogged, with the exception of right after I blog. But I assure you, these past couple months have been very full. Full of work, full of family stuff, full of whining and crying and self doubting and more crying and towel throwing and towel picking up and pouting and possibly, maybe even a little, foot stomping.

Wanna come over? I have cookies.

Kidding aside, it's been a tough time for me, especially where writing is concerned. I've had a lot of moments where I wondered if I was cut out to do this, or if I even wanted to anymore. Many emails were sent, several phone calls were placed, all full of flaily angst. I had my mouse hovering over the send button of an email titled 'You guys, I think I'm out' for more than a few days.

I took a break from the internet (this was actually not a bad thing) and when I did that, I was actually able to clear my head and remember some things.

A) I can't not write. It's part of who I am.
B) Feedback stops me dead in my tracks. (aka stop showing 500 words to everyone including the milkman because you are just going to get overwhelmed by other people's opinions).
C) No one else can write my story, so if I want to see it written, I'm going to have to (wo)man up.
D) It takes 21 days to make, or break, a habit.

That last one is important. I haven't written much of anything in almost a year. I write this blog. I sometimes blog with my White Blank Page girls. I write emails. But actually writing? It's been a damn long while. So when I start, it feels stilted and awkward and unfamiliar.


Coincidentally, November is more than 21 days long. So instead of focusing on the 50K to 'win' Nano, I'm focusing on making daily writing a habit again. I'm focusing on not editing as I go, and since no one is going to see it until I feel ready to hear someone else's thoughts, I think this will be easier. And I'm focusing on one other, little thing.

Having fun.

Is writing difficult? Yes. Are there moments where you want to pull your hair out? Yes. But should there also be moments when you get something down EXACTLY the way you want it and you get up and dance around the kitchen, pantsless (of course), while blasting Walking on Sunshine? YES.

So, if you need me for the next month, I'll be hard to find. No Twitter. No (gulp) Tumblr. No Goodreads. No READING (bwahahahaha. we'll see). Limited Email. Limited Internet.

But I'll be here. Writing. Making a habit. Having fun. Bringing the rain.


  1. We'll have fun together, making a habit, okay? Okay! I am going to do limited internet, Twitter still, an occasional glance at Tumblr. I'm definitely still reading though, as much as writing is a part of me, so is reading, and I find I write better when I read, it also tends to be my go to when I need a writing break, which I figure around week three, I'll sorely need.

    I also am not going to let anyone see what I write. I don't have that problem of editing as I go (my problem is going back to edit at all, I hate editing myself) but I do have that problem of other's opinions clouding mine. I showed my NaNo to two people last year and one had some negative things to say, which I should be able to take, and it floored me and I stopped dead in my tracks after that. Not good. I'm going to write the story I want to write, even if it veers wildly from my original idea, and maybe when I am done I'll show it to someone, but...maybe not.

    We can do this! WE CAN DO THIS!!

  2. @JLouise
    It's funny how we're so different in a lot of ways, and so very similar in others. Bffl thing? I think so!

    When I really stepped back, I saw that too much feedback was the major reason why I started having trouble writing. One person would give their opinion and I'd nod, and then someone else would give a completely opposite opinion, and I'd nod and then I wouldn't even be able to remember what I thought.

    Paraphrasing some famous quote that I can't remember the source of.... there is a time for critique and there is a time for writing. Now is a time for writing.

    And, of course, now is the time for cuddling <3

  3. as long as your rain isn't like this


  4. @Miztrezboo
    Cass, that is freaking AWESOME. I totally just bookmarked. Sometimes that sound of rain can put you in a certain mood.

    You're also awesome and ILY <3

  5. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited for you that you are doing this and writing again after a long break! I hope you love it and turn it into a habit. I haven't written nearly enough lately (revisions x crazy amounts for me!), so I totally get how you feel when you say it's awkward and unfamiliar anytime it's been too long. Best of luck!