Warning: There is self indulgent whining ahead. You may want to seek an alternate route/blog.
My Nanonovel has been checked into the ICU and the prognosis is not good.
Here are the notes on the chart:
Novel stands at 33023. No change for the last four days. Author suffering from lack of motivation, lack of inspiration, lack of confidence and a severe case of the 'fuck its'. Half-hearted attempts at pulling her shit together have been made, but thus far, met with little to no success. Keeping this novel on life support seems pointless, and possibly cruel to the writer.
So, there are five days left, including today. And today, in keeping with the last four, is busy. Busier than expected due to a flat tire. Which is yet another analogy for where I am right now. (Side note: I love a good analogy, and I use far too many of them, but that is another blog post).
Flat tire analogy: It was sort of acting wonky and feeling funny for a couple days, but I basically ignored it because reality has no place in the holiday season. Then, yesterday, I tried to drive (write). And it was, quite literally, as if all the air had leaked out. Flat. Stranded. Stuck.
I've got just under 17K words left to write in order to 'win' Nano. Did I say I didn't care if I 'won'? As long as I made writing a habit and got back in the game? Yeah, I lied. I am goal oriented on a good day, and obsessive compulsively competitive on a bad day. So, while I want to be one of the people that just does it for the experience, or the process, at the end of the day? Win is win. Everything else is lose.
And seeing that the most I've been able to write in one day is 5K, and that was one time, and hasn't repeated since.... *does math*.... we're looking squarely in the face of LOSE.
So yeah. That's the status update. 33K and I think the doctors are going to pull the plug and code this baby.
If you need me, I will be in mourning (which for these purposes, means shoving my face into a pie).