Fifty Thousand and Eighty Four Words

with two days to spare. I officially 'won' Nano on 11/28 at around 2:00 AM. I don't have words for what that felt like.

Something like that.

I'm not sure I'm ready to say that I wrote a novel, because due to numerous changes to the story while I was writing it, it's more a collections of scenes, and many of them will never see the light of my doc. But I wrote a something, that's for damn sure. Fifty Thousand and Eighty Four words of something.

So I went back and looked at my 'plan' for Nano. And then I laughed at myself for twenty minutes. And then I cam here to write this post, still laughing a little.

So that you don't have to refer back, I'll give you the run down on my plan to bring the rain. I can tell you, with complete sincerity, that four of those five items were met with EPIC FAIL. Or maybe we can call each of them SemiEpic Fail? I'll explain.

1) To write, everyday, until it became a habit again. I most certainly did NOT write everyday. See, if I only had to write 1667 words a day, it would take me about and hour and a half. That would be too easy, right? So there were several days where I just couldn't find/face the words. BUT, I did write to the point where it felt normal to do so again, and that was really the ultimate goal.

2) To not edit as I wrote. Bwahahahaha. It's like I don't know myself at all. Of course I edited as I went. Not excessively, and I deleted nothing, but if there is something I know is wrong, it will nag at me until I right it. Going back and reading at 10K was a mistake, because it set off an 'I don't KNOW this story' fit. But I learned things about how I write, and what I need, and what works for me. That was another goal.

3) To not show anything that I had written to anyone until it was over. Please see #2. But it's not about hiding it all away and not showing it to anyone. It's about know who you're ready to show it to, and making sure that you and that person(s) have an understanding of what you're looking for in terms of feedback. So I learned how to ask for what I want, and how to look at feedback and use it to better my writing.

4) To have complete Twitter lockdown, stay off the internet and not read.

This is where I dissolved into a fit of giggles. I think my twitteroff lasted three days, I was ALL over the internet, and I read FOUR books in the month of November (Tahereh Mafi's AMAZING Shatter Me and The Hunger Games series). That is far more books than I read in a normal month, but I couldn't stop reading Katniss and Peeta until the damn books were done. I COULDN'T STOP. Why didn't you guys tell me??? Oh wait. You did.) But this was okay too. I always think that shutting down is what I need, but the reality is, it's the worst thing for me. If I don't allow myself time to just chill and say Hi and interact with people, I become the bad kind of crazy. As opposed to my normal kind of crazy :)

5) To have fun. This one I didn't really fail at. I did have fun. I also had angst and emo and tears and moments where I was ready to say to Hell with all of it. But I had fun. I got to be online with my girl Ang when she hit her 50K (in sixteen days, mind you. She's a rockstar). I got to write kissing. Quite a bit of kissing, actually! I pushed myself and it worked. I made changes that will make this a better story. And I got to feel like a writer again.

So whether I followed my own plan or not, Nano, and the entire experience, gets a big fat check in the Success column. And even though there were moments where I thought even attempting to write 50K in a month was the biggest mistake ever, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Now, who is ready for some whiny posts about editing??

<3 Bec